Dating advice for nice guys
Just relax, try to have fun, stop focusing on meeting someone utterly amazing, just chill out a bit more. You say you try too hard and want to give the impression of being hard to get instead, but these are two sides of the same coin!
The problem isn't that you're nice, by the way, it's maybe a hint of desperation that comes across or being too intense. In the end, you are still being fake and you won't get anywhere that way.
You can, you know, talk about things besides alcohol.
Just talk to people without an ulterior motive and you'll be fine. You say you want to focus on yourself and do other activities then contradict yourself by saying the whole reason for this is to make yourself more attractive to women. Just widen your interests for the sake of widening your interests.
(To which I say, ) Clarisse is less cynical than I am on this issue; I think the PUA mentality is too toxic to be polished into something non-misogynist.Only recently have I become aware of this neediness.I'll work on cutting that out and becoming more independent.snuggles wrote: We do like nice guys, we like guys that are confident and kind, but not ones that are clearly only acting a certain way to get in our pants. If you try to get in the pants of every girl you meet, you're trying too hard to be interested. Hold off on the flirting until you find something about the girl you're genuinely interested/"turned on by".Even in its best forms, it’s still based on the sexist model of dating where women are selling and men are buying, an inherently sexist model that poisons even the occasional glimpses of common sense.Still, Clarisse is right to say feminists haven’t really responded to the plaintive cries of self-described “nice guys” who claim they want non-sexist dating advice that works, but are forced to look to PUAs because there is no one else speaking to them.
Since you run, join a running group to meet people. Once you stop looking and relax and be yourself, then women are more open to dating. Put yourself in places where there are other people who share common interests, which unless you are an alcoholic, is not a bar. Particularly the part about not looking and relaxing.